Hey guys, Dan Thomas from Image Doctor and Improvemant.com and watch the video above or read the article below as we discuss the question SHOULD I DATE A GIRL WITH A KID?
Now first things first, I wanted to start by declaring that I think all single parents deserve the ground they walk on to be worshiped!! I am fortunate to have been raised by both my amazing parents who remain together till this day.
So I’m certainly not suggesting I understand exactly how hard it would be to be a single parent, but with the current divorce rate now higher than 50%, the question “should I date a single mum” is a reality in today’s society and I felt this relationship issue is a very relevant topic to discuss.
I recently posted a video titled THE BENEFITS OF DATING A SINGLE MOTHER which I’ve included in the description field below for you. And today I wanted to follow up with some of the potential challenges of dating a single mum so that men in this position can make a well informed decision.
Whist I will again state that I don’t have a first hand realisation of being a single parent, two of my 3 brothers have children and my other brother is now expecting a child.
All my brothers are married and still with their wives and I see first hand how difficult it is for them raising children as couples, let alone as single parents. The reason for creating this video is not to scare men off dating a single mother, my intention was to hopefully save single mothers the additional challenge of dealing with a man who should never have embarked on a relationship with her begin with.
Because the undeniable truth is that single parents are incredibly time poor juggling work, a social life and any free time they can get their hands on outside of their role in caring for their child or children and for this reason, single parents don’t deserve to have their limited time wasted by men who aren’t prepared for what may be involved with dating a single mother.
So let’s take a look at some of the factors involved with dating a single mother and the considerations that men should be mindful of before taking this step.
The first point to mention is that scheduling can be a challenge when dating a single parent. When it comes to making plans and organising dates, weekends away and any type of events, any of these plans could be cancelled at any moment as unexpected situation arise with the child or children such as being unwell, having an accident or baby sitters or minders becoming unavailable.
The next point is that it may be a challenge dealing with the presence of her ex who is still involved with raising the child or children. If their relationship was ended by the lady against her ex’s wishes, he may project some animosity towards you.
If the split was amicable, the ex may still be harsh towards you as he is protective of his children and may be unhappy about the presence of another male figure in their lives. With all this said, I’m sure there would be situations where the ex is pleasant and the level of initial awkwardness fades in time.
The next challenge of dating a single mother can be the limitations on your sex lives. Having a child or children in the house means that privacy may be very limited and sex may bring with it the uncomfortable thoughts of being interrupted and having to choose certain positions and limit the sounds you make in order for the child or children to not be aware you are having sex.
If the ladies child or children are quite young, you can also expect to have very few chances of sleeping in on the weekends and may also be interrupted regularly throughout the night which can all lead to less effective sleep and feelings of fatigue throughout the day.
And regarding your new partners children, as your relationship develops and you are spending considerable time together or make the step of moving into together, there can be a strong possibility that you grow to be very fond of her children and may even develop feelings of love towards them.
This means that if your relationship with the lady ends, you are not only losing a woman that you love, but also her children who you have grown to care for or even developed feelings of love.
The next point is that no matter how strong your relationship becomes and how much she loves you, her children will always be the most important things in her life.
This does not have to be a problem, but if you are a particularly sensitive man who may possess personality traits that are somewhat needy, or you tend to be insecure about the value you offer to a lady, you may develop some level of resentment towards her children as a result.
By dating a single mother, there is no escaping the fact you will at least become a role model to her children, and potentially develop into a more serious role as a father figure. This is the most serious factor a man must consider when he asks the question “should I date a single mum?”
If you’re a man who is immature, irresponsible, lacking in morals and live a party lifestyle, you will have to be ready to improve yourself in all of these areas and make considerable lifestyle changes if you want a single mother to even consider dating you.
Another challenge in relation to the children of a single mother, is the fact they may treat you unfairly and hold resentment towards you as a bi product of the unhappiness and even anger they harbor regarding their parents break up or divorce. This can be a very unpleasant situation that places strain on the relationship between yourself and the mother.
In addition to that point, there are many suggestions the children of divorced parents deal with emotional turmoil that can result in behavior which is challenging for parents to deal with. This possibility is another consideration that a man must keep in mind before deciding to date a single mother.
And the final point I wanted to make may seem controversial or distasteful which is certainly not my intention. But as your relationship develops from early stage dating to becoming slightly more serious, you may consider trying to ask some subtle questions to figure out why the ladies past relationship or marriage did not work out.
Doing so may uncover some early warning signs that may also be issues that would affect your relationship with her. If this is the case, you may decide to end the relationship before getting in too deep with the lady and also her children.
So if you are a man and you are currently faced with the question “should I date a single mum?”, I suggest you take into account the information above, as well as the information in my previous video titled the benefits of dating a single mother before you make this step so that you have given the single mother the consideration and respect that she deserves.
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to like, share and leave your comments below and keep tuning back into Improvemant.com for regular videos to improve yourself as a man.
And if you would like some help or guidance to improve or update your current your style and image, you can see all my men’s personal styling and clothes shopping services here at my Image Doctor website